It’s natural as a mother to want put your family first. In fact, most mothers become borderline martyrs when it comes to their family (and their children), constantly putting their needs, wants and even dreams above their own.

While this is normal, it’s not always the best example to set for your children, and in essence, isn’t always the most effective parenting. As we know, children often mimic their parents’ behaviour, so one of the best ways to show your children how to love themselves is to love yourself. You need to show your children that taking care of oneself, one’s relationships and one’s own dreams is vital.

Now that you understand what is the most effective form of parenting when it comes to loving your family and yourself, the questions remains: How do you do it? Here are four things to keep in mind to help you show yourself and your family how to love more:

Teach your children self-love

When it comes to effective parenting, one thing you need to be conscious of is that children need to learn how to love themselves. That means that you need to set the example of how to love yourself.

If you show your children that you constantly put others’ needs before your own, they could understand that love only comes from doing things for others. Your children could then grow into adults who have an unbalanced idea of relationships and what is expected from them.

Take a long and honest look at yourself

We all know that we are not perfect. And effective parenting will always come with a little trial and error – and that’s okay. But, with what we know of how much our children mimic us, in what they say as well as our actions, it’s important to be conscious of how you are acting.

If you notice your children doing something that you don’t like – lack of gratitude, a bad attitude or otherwise – then it might be time to look at what you are doing that might be encouraging this type of behaviour.

Always treat others with kindness, love and respect

Interfamily relationships can hugely influence a child’s happiness. And while there is no formula for a ‘perfect’ relationship it’s still important that your child sees a couple of things in your partnership – in fact, it’s a vital part of effective parenting.

For example, it’s important that children see their parents be appropriately affectionate towards each other, for them to see friendship between their parents, and for their parents to praise one another. If children see their parents react badly to one another, they may copy these dynamics into their own relationships. As a general rule, always try to treat people with a level of kindness love and respect – because it’s these things that you want your child to copy.

Treat your body well

Self-love is about how you treat yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. Because most of our understanding of effective parenting means putting your children first, we often neglect ourselves physically. This is a problem because eating well and exercising are paramount to good health. And what’s more is you will want your children to adopt healthy behaviours too. Encourage your children to eat well and exercise by making sure you do.

For more information on effective parenting, take a look at our ebook: A Mother's Guide to Raising Successful Children. Alternatively, you can contact us at AR Hotels to find out more about our incredible Costa Blanca hotels, perfect for some bonding time with the family.